Double Fashion Offense

Elen Rives can't seem to keep her red carpet fashions straight. Maybe it's having two kids, or the infidelity of Frank, or god knows what. This abhorrent combination of unflattering black blouse with tent-like purple skirt held up with a white belt, has been spotted twice now this fall. As if wearing this attire at London Fashion Week (offending every designer in the room) wasn't enough, Rives felt it necessary to wear the outfit again to a makeup launch at Paper Night Club. Not only did she have the nerve to wear this attrocious outfit, she did it TWICE!

Sept. 15, 2007... AND THEN AGAIN... Nov. 1, 2007

I can't decide which way I prefer? With the hugely fabulous Ralph Lauren sunglasses and oversized clutch OR standing besides Frank Lampard (who looks twice as well put together). Probably the latter.

Disappearing Act

I miss Frank Lampard's thighs. I understand he probably has to wear the spandex because of his recent thigh injury, but when they made their appearences, it could make my day and maybe even my weekend. I don't know how much longer I can go on.

BEFORE: (in all their glory)


AFTER: (hidden from those who seek a peek)


It's a recent trend in football, and I must say one I do not approve of. Without thighs and bulges, what do I have to look farward to on gameday? Bring back the thighs, and lose the spandex, I SAY! I'm making a proclamation to the FA and maybe even FIFA. We'll see how far it goes.

Second Yellow Awarded...

...to this matching offense. Unacceptable ladies. I'm utterly disapponted.